• me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers

stability:

friendly reminder that you can fight for equality without shitting on other people’s lifestyles

(Source: stability, via perks-of-being-chinese)

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

(via mattysheallys)

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wow he sure is hungry

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no no that’s just the way all kids eat cereal these days — face first

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i’m hip

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(via heyfunniest)

cupcaketwinklebutt:

The end credits of game of thrones are on a black background specifically so you can see the look of horror on your face reflected in your computer screen

(via thetowndrugdealer)


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